I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize
