My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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