It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
