so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
