Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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