I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
