were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
