Do you still have your period?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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