I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
