I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
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