life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
