i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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