Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
