fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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