i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The uberlube is also flammable
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
