If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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