My friends, they love my intelligence
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
