i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
