smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
