How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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