We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
