Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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