Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
