where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
my phone needs a breathalizer
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
