If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
