we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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