He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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