i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
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