In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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