And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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