So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you would pick up someone in the library
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
