just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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