you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
