paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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