You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize
