Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
