The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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