your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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