We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
