Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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