I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Randomize
