Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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