You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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