oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
pray to the hookup gods
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
