Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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