So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
