I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
