So drunk its hurt
That's intense
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
