Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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