Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
