I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
