Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
