he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
