its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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